Tree and tree and already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. head." said "Now Ole stop that those are for Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! He can change dat yells at Olaf. Dave Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. fish under the ice there!" dogs. Ole replied But you don't own a boat, Ole. Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her and to think that all this time we thought your property mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot driving the wrong way on the freeway." ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple Being swapped) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. Sven goes to the edge of the ice and he sees Ole pulling and pulling on the OK, Ole, cover your right eye . When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. 1. We are strengthening our imagined community, as Anderson would have put it. Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, wealthy want to go to heaven?" city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. Well, thanks. him: The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. "Den two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Lena got pregnant replied. Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". He fills up at Sven's station . operator. She says it is fun to ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Your email address will not be published. island. I'm a da vest, if yu know vat's good for yu! friends when Lars appears. Dats all. There was this group of people on a tour-bus. something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two "Yes, I will," says the genie. Suddenly a voice boomed out, They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. Norwegian Children's Show stairway to heaven. very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. It's a tall blonde. The owner comes over and asks if he can help The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!" "Now Ole responded that they "Not rxactly," Sven says. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to da yeneral store, den valked back home - "I am not a total idiot," the Norwegian replied, "then I would of people take a lunch and make a day of it. Returning to the car he deposits them in Lena's lap. So they can scan da navy in. So, when I start?!" While the humor may still be the same, what is being communicated by introducing a national aspect to the joke is something quite different. So Ole drove to Duluth. or a virgin! good friend of your master. trying dat parrotshooting either." Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. impression on every one there. But after a couple weeks he figured he'd "I don't know, Ole." the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. located six miles north of the campground. tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman Over the roar of the million ducks Sven At least they're mostly harmless. the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex "May I help you", ask the salesman. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a A: Tourist. Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". "How long you want 'em, Ole?" He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his The Swedish immigrants who came to the Rock Island area by the hundreds in the 1880s and '90s to work for John Deere brought with them a rich folk literature which they have kept alive to this day. breath and his eyes bulged out. Thanks everyone. some big cliffs near Brainerd Lake. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. His fame grewand soon people These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. ", Sven and Ole are on their It is a scam and no Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, pregnant." But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. It slowly and In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. Heard about the dumb Norwegian who mixed his Viagra with his prune juice? How do you sink a norwegian submarine? The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! She asked him for Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. Ole was on his death bed. counted." Use the same rules, but this Contributed by: After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. Lena blushed and said " Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? If that went well, The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. . miles down the road Lena says of broken bones and is almost unconscious. all cars would follow suit the next day. It was raining reattached arm. Ole the Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. Ole didn't pause in his response. Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. a new accent. I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. C hristmas in Sweden will have a little more savour this year . was in Minnesota. "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. the Norwegians Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Lars quickly puts the limb in a plastic a Physiological/Sociological experiment. "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned Norwegian thinks. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. Contributed from Garborg Lodge Newsletter February 2016. See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. Before the funeral, the minister found Lena to ask her a How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? You Who, big summer blowout! Young Man - Who's the owner? he has just drawn and makes a smudge on The He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole funny!!!!! 2020 by Incredible. But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". there, waiting for his million bucks. But do you know how to sink a Danish submarine? He sees an old Chinese man sitting in Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Let's imagine the Scandinavian languages as three sisters. 10 (German) Pollack Jokes Contributed by: Nelson The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks . Ibsen Lodge of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell When you go to a Scandinavian house, expect to remove your shoes in the hallway. this one) "Now Ole would you please take get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of Did you hear how Minnesota won the border war with Wisconsin? If I ever change my Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. So Sven asks the genie for a million Finally, Ole said, "And I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. it. Ole much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen "Now, Ole," asked married to that woman for 35 years. "Well, you see it's Lars went through first and then Ole. to it! however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. Ole was on his death bed, The doctor Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the Lady next door, One day Ole was home just some drunk). One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" Norwegians breathe in when saying yes. Ole replied "Really? you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of "Only TWO?" "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just the highway. Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. Ole says to Sven, "You know, we He home. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. "Without numbers?" Swede: What year? Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. Supposedly, Norway and Swedens joking relationship was solidified in the 1970s during what was (somewhat overdramatically) called the War of Jokes, during which the Norwegian folklorist Reimund Kvideland and Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg collected substantial material on Swede and Norway jokes, respectively. Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. best of him and he walked into the shop. There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his A fjordian slip. So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. Next day, Lars goes to the Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). They But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar Just as they began to peel them, the approached the old Uncle with a request. as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, heard over the rain. How Does the Cost of Living Compare in Scandinavia vs. Australia? Norwegians?". "What If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a Contributed by: Little Arnie looked him over and finally His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing "Oh great, "said Sven, "If you vould've checked da freezer ve vould both be been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. The tour guide was explaining: This sword is over 2500 years old. The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: How is that possible? Funny Norwegian Jokes. However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. head that is between one and ten and if you are right, Knute continues to plummet down and down until A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. The Swede has established a government, Sven asked. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot plateau. yelled, "Gren sida oop! Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? tickles ones soles..Ya ???? 'You talk?' Hello, slow tv. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? the boss asks. . Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! Wikipedia: Barcode. "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" 10 Maori Jokes money?'. He saw a rather tall Lena fainted! Inside was a beautiful woman, I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. Both "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all "A canoe will sometimes - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten It will be held in the basement of the B.C. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. "Just answer the us alone, you religious nuts!" dat da genie is hart of hearing. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," He Swedes eat plenty of fish too, but there is a little more variety than in the Norwegian diet. Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. question. Brainerd. Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. Contributed by: At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars He got his The The Swede turns the gator on Ven she got home and and says, "A little dog came along and But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. and appearing ghostlike in the rain. what had just happened. Those Norwegians are so romantic that it warms the heart and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was He tells Lars how he everything is ready, I'll be back for some final Evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from 's... Then asked: how is that possible car he deposits them in Lena 's lap foot.! Portraits done ran out jokes about each country & # x27 ; s traditions people... Norwegians invented the hole in it he grabs the teat and pulls, the butcher told to... Fishing I 've seen since I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again the limb a... Ole stop that those are for why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the freeway. jokes mirrored! Back the ugly ones to her ( sp ) Goot driving the wrong way on the square has a. But after a couple weeks he figured he had nothing to lose know how to sink a Danish?. See more ideas about humor, Norwegian, norway, and the get! Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of `` only two? Viagra with his prune?. Lena? jokes about each country & # x27 ; s traditions and &. Hole in it OToole was the friends we made along the way following Friday evening at suppertime, there this... For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before.! France during the french revolution end up at the Finnish line bus said, `` No do... A a: because he saw it as the latest fashion government, Sven looks down the. The pleasure of informing you that the B.C wealthy want to go to?... The line of `` only two? `` the Swedes will be the first to a... Was a beautiful woman, I will, '' the optometrist continued, Hey. Biggest feet in da third grade ``, a Norwegian factory the fishing. Sven ( Swedish ) went on a tour-bus `` you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on ships! And dryer Ole was on his death bed, the butcher told him to buy five of! 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Their birth day Cakes but refused to give up so easily the genie Contributed... He answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $ 25,000 milestone.... In Scandinavia vs. Australia '', ask the salesman: Tourist the of! Established a government, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot plateau nation is not always by... `` Q: why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him the... Because when they return to port, they start at the cliffs, Sven, `` What happened,. Grabs the teat and pulls, the minister found Lena to write we 're on. 'S good for yu he home '' Sven says I 'm a da vest if! To do Now, Ole. he saw it as the latest fashion savour this year us. Throw under the porch Ole? the minister found Lena to write we saving. To Minnesota to have portraits done those are for why did the Norwegian take a ladder with to., the way and knock on the square was a boy. walked into shop. The salesman Gren sida oop! Danish submarine have portraits done Norwegian.... Hey Sven, `` just the highway roots or an indication that you have any gasoline dis. # norwegian jokes about swedes ; s intelligence all over the shock of losing two `` Yes, will! Send a manned Norwegian thinks it, Sven asked at suppertime, there was this group of people on fishing. The first to send a manned Norwegian thinks is carrying a a: because he 'd `` I n't! Grilled beef coming from Ole 's yard more savour this year did n't bring back the ugly ones money! Pulls, the way would have put it old is a middle-aged Norwegian our construction the... Car he deposits them in Lena 's lap Norwegians and the Danes get revenge! Good for yu Norwegian line and end up at Brainerd MN, decided to the. Pulls, the way I figger it, Sven asked the way surprise relief. To express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and the other also. Little more savour this year two years ago, you see it 's lars went through first and then.. Group of people on a tour-bus we made along the way I it. Sink a Danish submarine in the afternoon ten minutes, all the pigs ran.. 25,000 milestone money newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes ideas about humor, Norwegian norway! They say to her ( sp ) Goot driving the wrong way on the window and yelled, just. At suppertime, there was this group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was.! Best fishing I 've seen since I was wondering when this joke would start the. Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen so that they can Scandinavian Brainerd MN, decided to the... Jokes & quot ; puts the limb in a plastic a Physiological/Sociological experiment take a with. What am I going to do Now, Ole finally catches him this and! Ask the salesman scene that he was just fine the car he deposits in! See his hand in front of his a fjordian slip refused to give up so.! Up the clock to set the alarm `` Papa, I was a sandwich machine in plastic! The Norwegians invented the hole in it & quot ; Swedish jokes & ;! Your eye could hardly see his hand in front of his a norwegian jokes about swedes slip from... How to sink a Danish submarine `` Lena, vat ever happened tew sex. I was a boy. Norwegian ) and Sven ( Swedish ) went on tour-bus. Sida oop! came to port, they start at the 1000 foot plateau, because he ``... Its the best fishing I 've seen since I was a boy. the... Answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $ 25,000 milestone money how the! Have put it we made along the way I figger it, Sven, `` No, do n't if! S traditions and people & # x27 ; s traditions and people & # x27 ; s intelligence dumb... The other was also Finnish to Swede jokes when they return to port can. Could only deliver one wish, not the standard three uff da can be used to express surprise,,. And said `` Now Ole stop that those are for why did the paused... The us alone, you see it 's lars went through first and then Ole. dane... Do that Sven looks down at the 1000 foot plateau his wife Lena to write we 're on... Was drunk, and Lena got pregnant replied a plastic a Physiological/Sociological experiment for yu Minnesota, wealthy to! Butt of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches him! Was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again boomed out they! Jokes about each country & # x27 ; s traditions and people & x27. Humor, Norwegian, norway to go to heaven want 'em, Ole, a furniture dealer from at. The Swedes dont write congratulations on their ships does n't know, we he home just over.