Ive never been so busy in my life, says Harper, an ER physician who also is the author of The Beauty in Breaking, a bestselling memoir about her experience working as Black woman in a profession that is overwhelmingly white and male. The Beauty in Breaking tells the story of Dr. Harper, a female, African American, ER physician in an overwhelmingly male and white profession. Theres a newborn who isnt breathing; a repeat visitor whose chart includes a violent behavior alert; a veteran who opens up about what shes survived; an older man who receives a grim diagnosis with grace and humor. I suppose it's just like ER physicians, psychiatrists, social workers and all of us in the helping fields. But if it's just a one-time event in the ER and they're discharged and go out into the world - there are people and stories that stay with us, clearly, as I write about such cases. You want to describe some of the family dynamics that made it hard? She writes, I figured that if I could find stillness in this chaos, if I could find love beyond this violence, if I could heal these layers of wounds, then I would be the doctor in my own emergency room.. I didn't know why. That is my mission. So I explained to her the course of treatment and she just continued to bark orders at me. She went on to attend Harvard, where she met her husband. Eventually she said, I come here all the time and you're the only problem. I'm also the only Black doctor she's seen, per her chart. Well, she wasn't coming to, which can happen. The Beauty In Breaking is a memoir of her work as an emergency room physician in some of the . Her book, The Beauty in Breaking: A Memoir. Share this page on LinkedIn. Shane, Dr. Michelle's spouse, is a fireman and the Deputy Conservation Officer. Thats why they always leave!. Dr. Harper reflects on her journey from navigating a complicated family in Washington D.C. to attending Harvard, where she pursued emergency medicine and met her husband. He has bodily integrity that should be respected. She'll be back to talk more about her experiences in the emergency room after this short break. And you said that when you went home, you cried. And that was an important story for me to tell not only because, yes, the police need reform. Her memoir is "The Beauty In Breaking." And it's not just her. Often, a medical work environment can be traumatic for people (and specifically women) of color. But that is the mission, should they choose to follow it. So I didn't do it. DAVIES: I'm, you know, just thinking that you were an African American woman in a place where a lot of the patients were people of color. You want to just describe what happened here? Racism affects everything with my work as a doctor. And it's a very easy exam. You want to just tell us about this interaction? In one chapter, she advocates for a Black man who has been brought in in handcuffs by white police officers and refuses an examination a constitutional right that Harper honors despite a co-worker calling a representative from the hospitals ethics office to report her. DAVIES: And what would they have wanted you to do, other than to evaluate his health? What that means is patients will often come in - VA or otherwise, they'll come in for some medical documentation that medically, they're OK to then go on to a sober house or a mental health care facility. Michelle Harper's age is 44. And, you know, while I haven't had a child that has died, I recognized in the parents when I had to talk to them after the code and tell them that their baby, that their perfect child - and the baby was perfect - had passed away, I recognized in them the agony, the loss of plans, of promise, the loss of a future that one had imagined. Theyd tell me the same thing: were all getting sick. You wrote a piece recently for the website Medium - I guess it was about six weeks ago - describing the harrowing work of treating COVID-19 patients. What she ultimately said to me after our conversation was, I just wanted to talk and now, after meeting with you, I feel better. She felt well enough to continue living. Residency/Fellowship. You tell a lot of interesting stories from the emergency room in this book. She's a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at . It relates to structural racism. Photo courtesy of Penguin Random House. Our hours have been cut, our pay has been cut because healthcare in America is a for-profit system. Some salient memories that just remind me of the insecurity of it - there would always be some kind of physical violence. DAVIES: You know, you write in the book that you navigate an American landscape that claims to be post-racial when every waking moment reveals the contrary. She looked fine physically. 119 posts. School was kind of a refuge for you? She is an emergency room physician, and she has a new memoir about her experiences. The following techniques are used in her office . At first glance, this memoir by a sexual assault survivor may not appear to have much in common with The Beauty in Breaking. But the cover of Chanel Millers book was inspired by the Japanese art of kintsukuroi, where broken pottery is repaired by filling the cracks with gold, silver or platinum. At some point, I heard screaming from her room. I mean, did you worry at all that there's a chance he might have actually taken the drugs and that he could be in danger from not getting treated? This is FRESH AIR. And in reflecting on their relationship, you write, (reading) it's strange how often police officers frequently find the wackadoos (ph). So I could relate to that. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your device and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. This man has personal sovereignty. These aren't - the structural racism isn't unique to the police, unfortunately. Brought up in Washington, DC, in an abusive family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. It was crying out for help, and the liver test was kind of an intuition on your part. Michele Harper, 2020. She now works at Virginia Warren County Veterinary Clinic. It's people outside of your departments. DAVIES: You describe an incident in which a patient was brought in - I guess was handcuffed to a chair, and there were four police officers there who said he swallowed a bag of drugs, and they wanted him treated, I guess, you know, the stomach pumped or whatever. DAVIES: Right. Am I inhaling virus? and an older woman carrying the burdens of a sick husband and differently abled grandchild. It's 11 a.m., and Michele Harper has just come off working a string of three late shifts at an emergency room in Trenton, N.J. ER Physician and author of THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING, a New York Times Bestseller ( @riverheadbooks ) Speaking: @penguinrandomhouse Speakers Bureau. What was it like getting acclimated to that community and the effect it had on the patients that you saw? At that point, at that time of the day, I was the only Black attending physician, and the police were white. Michele Harper: Processing what she saw in and out of the ER. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Dr. Michele Harper. (An emergency room is a great equalizer, but only to an extent.) His office is not accepting new patients. While she waited for John, she took in the scene in the emergency room: an old man napping, a young man waiting for a ride home, a father rushing through sliding doors with his little girl in his arms. . I said, "What is going on?" A graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University, she has served as chief resident at Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx and in the emergency department at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Philadelphia. Its been an interesting learning curve, Im quicker on the uptake about choosing who gets my energy. While she waited for her brother she watched and marveled as injured patients were rushed in for treatment, while others left healed. This is a building I knew. The constant in Dr. Harper's reflection on these patients is the importance of connection, the importance of asking the hard . Its not coincidental that I'm often the only Black woman in my department. Its a blessing, a good problem to have. I don't know if the allegations against him were true. HARPER: Yes. She has a new memoir about her experiences called "The Beauty In Breaking." So I call the accepting hospital back to let them know that. No. And it felt dangerous. By The Literary Life. And I don't know whether or not he took drugs. Dr. Michele Harper sheds light on how the coronavirus pandemic has affected health care workers and the virus's impact on vulnerable populations, and discuss. For example, I had a patient who, when I walked into the room and introduced myself, cut me off and said, "Okay, yeah, well, this is what you're going to do for me today." We're speaking with Dr. Michele Harper. You've also worked in big-city teaching hospitals where that was not as much the case, I assume. Penguin Random House/Amber Hawkins. Nope - not at all because different would mean structural change. Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room physician in a profession that is overwhelmingly male and white. So it never felt safe at home. They stayed . In a new memoir, Dr. Michele Harper writes about treating gunshot wounds, discovering evidence of child abuse and drawing courage from her patients as she's struggled to overcome her own trauma. About Elise Michelle Harper, MD. It's a clinical determination. Then I started the medical path, and it beat the words out of me. She looked well, just stuporous. In that sameness is our common entitlement to respect, our human entitlement to love.. Usually I read to escape. Harper looks each one in the eye. I continued, "So her complaint is not valid. But because of socialization, implicit bias and other effects of racism and discrimination, it doesn't happen that way. But I was really concerned that this child had been beaten and was having traumatic brain injury and that's why she wasn't waking up. If we had more people in medicine from poor or otherwise disenfranchised backgrounds, we would have better physicians, physicians who could empathize more. Her cries became more and more distressed. They have 28 years of experience. I kept thinking, This is absurd. Part of me was laughing inside because she thought she could be so ignorant and inappropriate. Michele Harper was a teenager with a learner's permit when she volunteered to drive her older brother, John, to an emergency room in Silver Spring, Md., so he could be treated for a bite wound . I drove a cab in Philly in the late '70s, and some of the most depressing fares I had were people going to the VA hospital and people being picked up at the VA hospital. And they brought him in because, per their account, they had alleged that it was some sort of drug-related raid or bust, and they saw him swallow bags of drugs. If the patient doesn't want the evaluation, we do it anyway. But there was one time that I called. She said no and that she felt safe. The Beauty in Breaking is the true story of Michelle Harper's journey toward self-healing as she embarks on a career in emergency medicine. How did you see your future then? So it was a natural fit for me. Apparently, Dr. Michele Sharkey has found love with none other than the brother of a fellow coworker, Dr. Emily Thomas. . She really didn't know anything about medicine. So for me, school - and I went to National Cathedral School. Brought up in Washington, D.C., in a complicated family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. I want you out of here." Angelina Jolie 's ex-girlfriend Jenny Shimizu also got married recently, tying the knot last week to socialite Michelle Harper. And, you know, of note, Dominic, the patient, and I were the two darkest-skinned people in the department. She is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. The past few nights she's treated . And my emergency medicine director was explaining that even though there was no other candidate and I was the only one who applied, they decided to leave it open. Situations, experiences, can break us in ways that if we make another set of decisions, we won't heal or may even perpetuate violence. There were other popular employees like Dr. Sandra Wisniewski and Dr. Elizabeth Grammar who also left the show. The bosses know were getting sick, but won't let us take off until it gets to the point where we literally can't breathe. Brought up in Washington, D.C., in a complicated family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. It wasn't about me. In her memoir of surviving abuse, divorce, racism and sexism, an emergency room physician tells the story of her life through encounters with patients shes treated along the way. But you don't - it's really the comfort with uncertainty that we've gained. I didnt know the endgame. 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Whats more important is to be happy, to give myself permission to live with integrity so that I am committed to loving myself, and in showing that example it gives others permission to do the same.. We have to examine why this is happening. They stayed together through medical school until two months before she was scheduled to join the staff of a hospital in central Philadelphia, when he told her he couldn . HARPER: And yes, you know, that's - and I'm glad you bring that up. The Beauty in Breaking: A Memoir. While she was fighting for survival, I felt that what I could do, what the others of us could do, is not only help her find health again. DAVIES: Michele Harper, thank you so much for speaking with us. It's emotionally taxing. Just as Harper would never show up to examine a patient without her stethoscope, the reader should not open this book without a pen in hand. We'll continue our conversation in just a moment. There's another moment in the book where you talk about having tried to resuscitate a baby who was brought in who died. As a Black woman, I navigate an American landscape that claims to be postracial when every waking moment reveals the contrary, Michele Harper writes. He did not - well, no medical complaints. And as we know from history, this is a lifetime commitment to structural change. Working on the frontlines of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, in a predominantly Black and brown community, Ive treated many essential workers: grocery store employees, postal workers. [Read an excerpt from The Beauty in Breaking. ]. It's not graphic, but it is troubling. I mean, of course, if they're admitted to the hospital, we can - we usually get follow-up. So I started the transfer. 5,415 followers. This is the setting of Dr. Michele Harper's memoir, The Beauty in Breaking, which explores how the healing journeys of her patients intersect with her own. They stayed together through medical school until two months before she was scheduled to join the staff of a . And I should just note again for listeners that there's some content here that might be disturbing. Copyright 2020 NPR. No. We're only tested if we have symptoms. What's it like not to have follow-up, not to know what became of these folks? As she puts it, In life, too, even greater brilliance can be found after the mending., Who Saves an Emergency Room Doctor? The patient, medically, was fine. Though we both live in the same area, COVID-19 kept us from meeting in a studio. In her new memoir, she shares some memorable stories of emergency medicine - being punched in the face by a young man she was examining, helping a woman in a VA hospital with the trauma of sexual assault she suffered serving in Afghanistan and treating a man for a cut on his hand who turned out to have incurred the wound while stabbing a woman to death. Growing up, it was. ABOUT THE PROVIDER. She is affiliated with Saint Francis Medical Center. Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. Michele Harper as she highlights the lessons learned on her inspiring personal journey of discovery and self-reflection as written in her New York Times Best Selling memoir, The Beauty in Breaking. That was just being in school. Dr. Michele Harper is an emergency medicine physician. But everyone heard her yelling and no one got up. Coming up, Maureen Corrigan reviews "Mexican Gothic," a horror story she says is a ghastly treat to read. This is FRESH AIR. Nobody went to check on her. If you have a question for her, please leave it in the comments and she may respond then. That's an important point. They stayed together through medical school until two months before she was scheduled to join the staff of a . This Week on The Literary Life Podcast. She remained stuporous. We are so pleased to announce Dr. Michele Harper as our Chief Medical Advisor! DAVIES: You described in the piece that you wrote about the mask that you wore over your face. So it felt particularly timely that, for The . But I feel well. In "The Beauty in Breaking," Dr. Michele Harper shares stories from the field, and how healing patients who've trusted her with their lives taught her to care for herself. I'm Dave Davies, in for Terry Gross. Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. Michele Harper as she highlights the lessons learned on her inspiring personal journey of discovery and self-reflection as written in her New York Times Best Selling memoir, The Beauty in Breaking. She writes that she's grown emotionally and learned from her patients as she struggled to overcome pain in her own life, growing up with an abusive father and coping with the breakup of her marriage. Dr. Michelle Harper, a New York Times Bestselling Author and Harvard graduate, will be the focus of a Monday, August 22 virtual interview with East Baton Rouge Parish (EBR) readers, and EBR . So we didn't do it, and I discharged the patient, which was his wishes. And usually, it's safe. All of those heroes trying to recover from the trauma of the pandemic are trying to figure out how to live and how to survive.. Author Talk w/ Dr. Michelle Harper: The Beauty in Breaking. The authoritative record of NPRs programming is the audio record. So we reuse it over and over again. Michele Harper grew up in Washington, DC, knowing from a fairly young age that healing would be in her future. After some time at a teaching hospital, you went to - you worked at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Philadelphia. And in that story and after - when I went home and cried, that was a moment where that experience allowed me to be honest. She said, well, we do this all the time. Brought up in Washington, D.C., in a complicated family, she went to . DAVIES: Dr. Michele Harper is an emergency room physician. It was a gift that they gave me that, then, yes, allowed me to heal in ways that weren't previously possible. Michele Harper is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. I am famously bad at social media. Harper shares her poignant stories from the ER with Mitchell Kaplan. Whether you have read The Beauty in Breaking or not there are important lessons in self-healing to take . There's (laughter) - it did not grow or deepen. I felt Id lost the capacity to write or speak well, but there were stories that stayed with me this sense of humanity and spirituality that called to me from my work in the medical practice. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT CALL (302)644-8880. I mean, I've literally had patients who are having heart attacks - and these are cases where we know, medically, for a fact, they are at risk of significant injury or death, where it's documented - I mean, much clearer cut than the case we just discussed, and they have the right - if they are competent, they have the right to sign themselves out of the department and refuse care. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information, I read books from across the U.S. to understand our divided nation. Fashionista and businesswoman who is known for her eccentric dress style and public appearances. Fax: 1-512-324-7555. D.C., in an abusive family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. And you had not been in the habit of crying through a lot of really tough things in your life. The emergency room is a place of intensitya place of noise and colors and human drama. They stayed together . (SOUNDBITE OF TAYLOR HASKINS' "ALBERTO BALSALM"), DAVIES: This is FRESH AIR. Then, thankfully, my father then left for a little bit also. Whatever their wounds, whatever their trauma, it can make them act in this way. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. They are allowed to, you know, when certain criteria are met. You know, ER doctors and nurses have a lot of dealings with police, and there's a lot of talk about reforming police these days, you know, defunding police in the wake of protests of police killings of African Americans. I mean, I feel that that is their mission. It involves a 22-month-old baby who was brought in who apparently had had a seizure. HARPER: Yes. DAVIES: We're going to take another break here. DAVIES: You describe being 7 years old and trying to understand this. So in that way, it's hard. And that was a time that you called. And so that has allowed us to keep having masks. These are the risks we take every day as people of color, as women in a structure that is not set up to be equitable, that is set up to ignore and silence us often. I subsequently left the hospital. Indeed, Dr. Emily revealed the reasons behind why Dr. Sharkey left in a tweet on February 21, 2020. HARPER: Yes, 100%. Brought up in Washington, D.C., in a complicated family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. This is FRESH AIR. And I specifically don't speak about much of that time and I mentioned how graduation from undergrad was - pretty much didn't go because it was tough being a Black woman in a predominantly white, elitist institution. The gash came from Harpers fathers teeth. Well, as the results came back one by one, they were elevated. And one of the reasons I spoke about this case is because one may think, OK, well, maybe it's not clear cut medically, but it really is. So it felt like there was nothing left to do but continue to live in silence because there was going to be no rescue. She and I spoke for a long time about how she had no one to talk to, and now because of coronavirus, she was even more alone than she used to be. So it was always punctuated by violence. You constantly have to prove yourself to all kinds of people. It's many people. That was a gift they gave me. DAVIES: You did your residency in the South Bronx in a community that had issues with drug dealing and gang violence. HARPER: I do. ColorofChange.org works to make government more responsive to racial disparities. This happens all the time, where prisoners are brought in, and we do what the police tell us to do. My director's initial response was just, "Well, you should be able to somehow handle it anyway. That is not acceptable, and yet these situations happen constantly. Its 11 a.m., and Michele Harper has just come off working a string of three late shifts at an emergency room in Trenton, N.J. Photos of Harper the bride wearing her voluminous wedding gown on . Dr. Michele Harper is a New Jersey-based emergency room physician whose memoir, The Beauty in Breaking, is available now. It was fogging up. So what was different about Dominic was that he's dark-skinned, he's Black and that he was with the police. There are limitations in hirings and promotions. The officers said we were to do it anyway. It's yet to be seen, but I am hopeful. So it did open me up to that realization. And he apologized because he said that unfortunately, this is what always happens in this hospital - that the hospital won't promote women or people of color. But Harper isn't just telling war stories in her book. When I left the room, I found out that the police officer had said that he was going to try to arrest me for interfering with his investigation. There wasn't a doctor assigned yet to her, she only had a nurse. So not only are we the subject of racism but then we're blamed for the racism and held accountable for other people's bad behavior. And in that moment, that experience with that family allowed me to, in ways I hadn't previously, just sit there with myself and be honest and to cry about it. But, you know, I'm a professional, so I just move on and treat her professionally each shift. And as a result, it did expedite the care that she needed. And she called the hospital medical legal team to see if that was OK and if somehow she could go over me - because she felt that she was entitled to do so - to get done what the police wanted done. And when they showed up, they said, well, I suppose we'll just arrest you both, meaning my father and my brother. And so when I was ordering her tests, I didn't need to order liver function tests. And if they could do that, if they could do an act that savage, then they are - the message that I took from that is that they are capable of anything. I was really scared because I didnt know that I could write a book. It's everyone, at all times. Dr. Harper received her BA in Psychology from Harvard University . HARPER: That's a great question, and I am glad we're having the conversations and that there is space for the conversations. There are so many powerful beats youll want to underline. And you're right. I will tell you, though, that the alternative comes at a much higher cost because I feel that in that case, for example, it was an intuition. Back one by one, they were elevated Stony Brook University it had the... Medical School until two months before she was scheduled to join the of. Started the medical path, and it beat the words out of the she met her husband deadline. 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