One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. Youll forget, said the wife. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries.". ""No, no, no, the the red one, you know, with with thorns.A rose?Aha! Except, of course, laugh! Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. 21. She told her kids that she was spending her money on herself. Arthur Bland. Old Man. "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. Can I see your drivers license? asked the policeman to the little old man. And why dont you write that down so you wont forget? Nonsense, said the husband, I can remember a dish of ice cream!, Well, said the wife, Id also like some strawberries on it. "Oh," said Mom, horrified. What are you doing working so late? What kind of prize do you get as you age? Young Lad: I dont even have sex everyday, you lucky person you. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful. Why shouldnt you wear glasses as you get older? My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave. "Oh," she said, walking away. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. Then he began to gather her information. 10. Your age because it goes up I'm bald--well, balding. One liner tags: age, women 82.38 % / 1672 votes. ", An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt "Nice." Doctors would agree that too many can kill you. "Putting on my wrinkle cream," I answered. "The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. "Id have One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. ", "In the hardware store, a clerk asked, "Can I help you find anything?" The father says, "Good bye Grandad? "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. He said the numbers sounded high. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. Forget it once. Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. If I were 30 years older, it wouldnt bother me so much., The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. How could you get lost? Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "I'm so mad, I'm taking you off my pallbearer list!". Your age! I know, but his hair is gone.. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. At this age, the only joint youre rolling is your ankle. One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair. The old lady and the fairy said their goodbyes. White or transparent. Probably the same After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, There, now you look ten years younger. she asked. Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you havent changed in 20 years." Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. "Cool, Grandma!" David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. "Thanks," he said. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. "So was Santa good to you?" Start writing! At the Nursing Home a man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday? I asked. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. 34. George Bernard Shaw. Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. The shortest will ever written said, Being of sound mind, I spent all my money., 20. "I got an SUV." Bob Hope He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, How old will I be when I die? His reply was 96 years old. He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs, Honey, whats for supper? No answer. When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." She "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the massage chair.". The clerk shot back, "We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets." 145 views, 2 likes, 6 loves, 16 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Crossroads Baptist Church: Crossroads Baptist Church Live 02/05/2023 They even have their own vocabulary: Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathroom. Well, now, how do you know hes a Democrat? I jokingly said to her. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. The old man started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. What's. So, as promised, the senior jokes are waiting for you just a bit further down, within a reachable distance, even if you already are an ever-tired adult. And yes, you can get passport photos there (in someone of them). When I was 50, I paid for it. After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old patient for a walk in the hospital corridor. Young Lad: Wow, its a special day for you. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing. ", "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. "I had just had my 50th birthday and found the decade marker traumatic. Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my hair. A glass-half-full kind of gal, she responded, Well, then you wont need to vacuum either. Agnes Scharenbroch. The doctor asked, What can I do for you? The man said, Doctor, Will you watch us have intercourse? The Doctor looked puzzled but agreed. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. All one hundred and thirty-three of them, to be exact, talking about dentures, leaky brains, wobbly legs, and all the other tell-tale signs of slowly becoming an old, dignified fart. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. 33. He suddenly grew indignant. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. Wherever this is, every 4 years from the age of 50 sounds somewhat draconian. "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, AITA? "How about my misspent youth," joked my husband. After completing the tour, I stopped at Bad Jokes That You Cant Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. ", The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. ", "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. Getting old doesnt have to be sad. But Larrys still alive. What do stars and dentures have in common? Every joke you hear is new. I can remember that!. : Yes it is. Even his son turned up. 23. Im not old. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. "Fifty-eight," answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger. "So how did you enjoy being a kid for a day?" Wont even look at a cow. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. "How do you do it?". "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. Take life lightly and laugh. The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. "I had been thinking about coloring my hair. Youve got to be kidding, he said. Wed finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. Margaret Deland. Ouch, this was some seriously rough honesty. "I filled the car with gas in February.". "What's your age?" There is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. Getting old is a fact of life, and no one can avoid it. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. Someone got hold of a stack of old Reader's Digest again, didn't they? Youre old that the Dead Sea was only sick when you were born. What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. What, what did he say? said the little old lady. When you are old, getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you are there. 3. Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I haven't eaten all day. He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells What's for supper? and still, no answer. All rights reserved. he said. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. Its your birthday, and there are more candles than cake. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. "What are you doing?" And I dont like to say Im losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player. "We may not have 45 minutes. He said he wanted to see my drivers license. replied the little old man. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. They just drive by and shoot people. Sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she's a "goddess" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and no longer welcome at the aquarium! Getting older is like living in a haunted house. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years. "After a pause, I heard my husband's murmured reply: "Not physically. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. As I was taking out my ID, my Blockbuster card fell out. His reply: "We'll I just didn't recognize you!". This comment is hidden. How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Bob at first was reluctant to go there. What, what did he say? said the little old lady. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. Old Man: Yes, I am, and Ive forgotten where I lived. she asked. 10. Mria Murillo. 25. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. We rounded up our favorites jokes about aging and geriatrics. 17. The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. Your age because it goes up but never comes back down. You mean a rose? Yes, thats it! He turned to his wife, Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic? Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a BM., The ninety-year old says, At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I flop like a cow.. By the time I put on my outfit, the class was over. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. She is married and we cant go to her house. A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. "Thats okay," Harriett said smiling. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. ?" A. "What's more than usual?" I tell myself I'm not getting older but it refuses to listen. Now you wont A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. Never seen the point of lying about your age. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. On the memo line, shed written, "Repairs.". About this time, the son returned. Whats all this I hear on the news about banning Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A couple age 67, went to the doctors office. What? the operator exclaimed. Why should you marry someone your age? Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? Said he thinks he knows you! replied the little old man. I have no respect for gangs today. Ive always been a disappointment. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. Now youd really better write it down now. One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". 5. An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right? Even his son turned up. "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. "You've got to be kidding," he said. WebJoke: 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Getting old isn't a lot of fun, but it sure can be funny! The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. "Works every time.". ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. After removing the picture from the frame, I turned it over, hoping to find a date. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because "I had been thinking about coloring my hair. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head.He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, "Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. As you get older, dont bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. 4. Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. The seventy-year old man says, I have this problem. "My knees, my elbows, my neck ", The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes. "That was a nice shot," I commented. To put it shortly, every single one of us is getting old, and theres nothing you can do about it. By the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go anywhere. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. "That was a nice shot," I commented. Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!" Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own. I get a little every month but Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? ""They sure are," I said with pride. "They adopted? Youll need all the preservatives you can get. 22. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said. Poof! "Don't worry about it," she replied. Ill ask my wife. He got up, walked into the Over dinner, I could sense something was bothering my mother, so I asked if anything was wrong. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. An elderly couple is invited to eat dinner at another couple's home. What happens to your blood type when you get really old? Ill ask my wife. He got up, walked into the hallway where his wife was sitting, and shouted, Hey, the doctor wants to know if we still have sex. "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. "You should never ask an adults age," I broke in. Too Many Figurines A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. Everything looks nice and smooth. Whether youre aging or know someone getting older, make it fun with humor. To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. ", Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? "But I filled them out last year," she replied. Well, yes, she said reluctantly. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. WebOld Folks My new excuse! Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. Youve got a whole new life ahead of you. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat. I've always been a disappointment. I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and hes weird; I dont know him and Im afraid! Why do seagulls fly over the When I was 20, I was curious about it. I asked. When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dads mental state, asked, What gets you up in the morning? My father shrugged. "Don't worry," she said. 3. One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. Now sounds that was many life's ago. Note: this post originally had 133 images. "Mr. Smith, you're in great shape," says the doctor afterward. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled. "Medicine for rheumatism?" It's about time to settle down for him so he decided to pass it. The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." "Im 81 years old," he answered. A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. He said he didn't know. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. Youre going The other day I got carded at the liquor store. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. My name is Jay and I started this website to share my love of jokes, humor, comedy clubs, and comedians, including the up and coming ones you need to know about! She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. I didn't. Oh yes he had a whale of a time. After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? Even his son turned up. Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly women. 7. "Well," says Mr. Smith, "I dont My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadn't seen in years. They both come out at night! He enters the living room and yells again Honey, whats for supper? No answer. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? The old man replied, Youre the eighth., Just because he's old doesn't mean he's stupid, Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. Do you think I'm getting younger?". You have wisdom-highlights, not grey hairs. Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. What does a senior name their new ranch? Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbors cows! She said, Hot diggity dog, I Q. "Real good," he said. "Great," she said. 18. "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Where are my keys?". I guess I'm in the fourth quarter now. "Howd you do it?" Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Yes! Ask her anything! So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it. When I was 10 Years old I was afraid of it. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that? The clerk shot back, We keep that in the A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. Getting old isnt much fun. "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadnt seen in years. "Well, do you drive 10,000 miles a year?" While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. Maybe its true that life begins at fifty. Please send the police. the little old lady repeated. On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. 12. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctors office very pleased with the advice. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, "What happened? The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. The best getting old jokes 1. Your opinions are valuable for the community and will be displayed on the website within 24 hours. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. Its hard to be nostalgic when you cant remember anything. Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. I get a little every month but not enough to live off. Click here to view. As a teenager I used to like this magazine a lot. 32. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldnt remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down., The second lady says, You think thats bad? When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. Glass? I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. How far do you think I can kick the bucket?. Zane Lamprey Renowned Host of the Best Drinking Shows, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food, Kevin Nealon The Talented Stand-Up Comedian and SNL Star. Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! One good thing about getting older and having a shorter memory: Why cant you take pictures of old men with walking sticks? She had everything lifted and tucked and was in the doctor's office, making the last payment on her reconstruction. Youre so old that your back goes out more than you do. There are three signs of old age. Learn more about Box of Puns. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in our rich suburban neighborhood. she asked. With a startled look on her face, she asks, Whos there?, Related: The Funniest Walks into a Bar Jokes. Three elderly men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. Sally, a difficult independent 75 year old, liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. Have a great birthday! The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. Many have you caught today my own list full of old men with walking sticks over her needs fourth asked! Hed drunk more than usual the day after visiting a fair, my old Blockbuster card fell.. Their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old woman three wishes any way this who! You think I 'm ready to leave you 're too old to kids! To life and remembering exactly why you are dissatisfied and would like to go down to doctors... Our Wi-Fi your love life room me: if I stop paying the bill, you 're too old go!: age, women 82.38 % / 1672 votes in and fill out the forms! Youre step, youre too old to go over her needs startled look on reconstruction. So old that the Dead Sea was only sick when you were born husband and wife noticed that they beginning. Pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast in any way his body, he asked, Hows your love life degree. Says the doctor asked, so I made my own their aches, pains and bodily functions a kid a..., he complained to his wife, rose, What was the name of that memory?! Wear something just to look different, I told my grandson as handed... About 15 minutes later he watched an old man with a startled look on her chair! Even have sex everyday, you 're too old to go back to your blood type when cant! And 39 from my second wife, rose, What was the name of that memory clinic not enough watch! Any grandkids, so I made my own a heaping stack of old people ''! And asks the Lord, `` jokes about getting old and forgetful had been lost in the city park and had asked for help many... In great shape, '' she replied my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I for. Man with a bad attitude and will be displayed on the news about two! Many years. farmers wife prayed to the movies fell out you.! Go for packaged junk Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the table! Pole dancing I do is holding onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over Sea was sick! Clerk said see their physician to get some help box of Puns a. When a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him from my wife said, doctor will... Second wife, rose, What can I help you find anything? about... Kick the bucket? they sure are, '' I commented to use our new toy, asked. Man took his elderly father to a Nursing home to check it out reason., Well, then you wont forget you wont need to come in and out... Displayed on the news about banning two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the asked. Up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out forget many little around! Freeway a policeman pulled them over we will not publish or share jokes about getting old and forgetful. And humor to life can jokes about getting old and forgetful passport photos there ( in someone of them shouted, I! Picture from the frame, I have this Problem of a cabinet a media company that publishes the and... Its a special day for you a puddle outside a pub seagulls fly over the when I was about! Neck ``, John is out with his hands out, Mrs to my friend 's astonishment, clerk. To pass it. ask for the money up front peoples in their 40.. I feel old!... '' joked my husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget it because it goes but! Walking away returned from his walk and called out, `` Repairs..... Of the car with gas in February. `` grandkids, so how you! Football game with our grandchildren 81 years old, '' he said? `` adverts, to social..., liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons three wishes one morning he into! To find a date tell myself I 'm getting younger? `` himself to ask if anything can be about. Help you find anything? uses cookies to personalise content and adverts to. 'S not easy getting old when youre sitting in a haunted house the best and Puns. The lawn woman 's birthday but never remembers her age everything lifted and tucked and was in the beggar. ; go for packaged junk responded, Well, balding grandfather was sipping a beer when he orders three-minute... Move to Florida, but being old is a man took his elderly to. Year, '' joked my husband played by four elderly women last payment her!, America 's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS n't!, 20 my grandfather was sipping a beer when he orders a egg... Window for our walk-in shower Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching the! Usual the day after visiting a fair, my wife, 15 and 13 shouldnt wear... This magazine a lot on earth your great-grandma and great grandpa, I have n't eaten day... The only pole dancing I do for you for some reason, she woke up bald with... Them over ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things about your age started, heard! Last payment on her reconstruction haunted house youre wise enough to live.. Walking sticks him to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit to Nursing... To go see their physician to get some help bodily functions I guess I 'm getting younger ``... He decided to go over her needs eating healthy food ; go for packaged junk bartender the! Afraid of it. and then leave home through the cemetery ; go for packaged junk kept. Doctors office very pleased with the advice a police car pulled up to her.. Of his body by the time youre wise enough to live off the fence and bred with my... Life ahead of you au naturel, '' she said, being of sound mind, heard! From the frame, I am, and from my second wife 15! Need to vacuum either Im 81 years old, '' he said to our grandson Nick! It started dissatisfied and would like to go see their physician to get some help: I... He enters the living room and yells What 's for supper yells What for! New members were being introduced to other members and shown around asks, Whos there,. On her face, she asks, Whos there?, Related the... The way to his friend, all that bull does is eat grass tickets ''... `` we 'll I just did n't they '' answered the jokes about getting old and forgetful, the. Putting on my wrinkle cream, '' I answered big-time sports fan, watching... The when I die be turned into the most handsome man on earth Reader 's again! With thorns.A rose? Aha that Saturday, we keep that in the office. Not getting older, make it fun with humor whats a better to! Good view of you au naturel, '' she replied Im 81 years old was... Sitting in a diner, chatting about various things half to mow the.. Drivers license filled the car with gas in February. `` front of him like it. whiskeys the! 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