That we two have serious problems and good luck. I had the AP seek me out, in a place I thought I could be safe from ever seeing her. There can be any number of reasons, but I do suggest you try to get your mind off the affair partner and onto your own recovery - that is much more productive. Knowing that my wife has been distracted by a man and I am even aware of the person is hurtful in itself. I was done with him, what had I to say to her not my problem, not my problem, not my You may want to scare them by threatening to tell their spouse about the affair. much easier to start than they are to stop. She likes attention and drama. People get ugly. It was sweet. When you confronted her, she wanted to leave and you wanted her to stay and talk? If cheaters can't have secret cake (the affair and the marriage), they will settle for a public pick me dance. I knew he would never try to contact me again after this conversation. We even went and had drinks with her and the other other woman lol. Walking away from this lets you maintain your dignity and self respect. Which is why you need to get professionals from outside to step in and fire the big bazookas. Talking to the affair partner is comparing apples and oranges. (The affair is over.). Just what I needed to hear. It did help me just to know she knew the truth. Yes, bills, parenting, and life goes on. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH. This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life and she is off chasing other guys. provide your spouse with the opportunity to openly demonstrate how much he/she cares about his/her lover. Besides your attorney would retain the documentary evidence of her infidelity while advising her that should the reconciliation derail for whatever reason, at which ever point down the road, your attorney would retain the option to use the existing evidence of her infidelity to buttress a future divorce petition. But thank God I know! Like I have won! Youre as naive as they come. I want to call his cell this morning and say "this is very awkward for me but do you have a couple minutes. her that I felt there was no possible path forward for us- that divorce was the only option. Got a response. Don't get me wrong, he is ultimately to blame, as he made the commitment to me, but she really showed her true colors which made it easier for him to pull out of the affair fog. Just Wow. She used the same kinds of words my lover did; you could tell that they were a couple. I cannot fight another woman because of a man who is not satisfied with me and decided to keep a lover outside marriage. As @El and @happythoughts have stated, when one door closes, another opens. Anyway, Im still trying to process this, and would appreciate any insights from folks who have been down this road before. Maybe she is ill and needs help, as her husband I should be there for her shouldn't I? *If there is any money left, and after youve forgiven them and forgiven yourself for short comings, definitely try to do 1 thing youve never dreamed of doing. I wound out about the affair about one month after he died. I would have asked openhanded questions to see what his responses would be and compare them to what my wife said. of the situation. Not as bad as you, but I do fell your pain. There is a certain freedom there that I havent felt for a very long time. This is just a new beginning. Your loving wife is not a seasoned serial cheaterat least not as yet. You walk with you pride, money, and assets, and yet she would be thanking you for not washing her filthy linen in public before the public (including your mutual friends and her relatives). Either you've got really low self-esteem and opt to be a side dish, or you're flamingly narcissistic. But you are still a father. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Angry, you bet! The only thing I will do is to walk out of the marriage. I had the same thing happen to me and I was polite and cordial and couldn't get out of Dodge fast enough . WebOne of the most common motivations for confronting the other person is to try to get them to see that you're a real person and that their actions are destroying real lives. Then, I will confront her openly. As much as I can move on, take responsibility, or as many times as I can apologize to my lover's wife (which I did), that kind of experience lives with you and takes up residence in your soul. The only person I have a problem with in such a situation is my wife and I will have to relate only to her. She went for sympathy from her ex-husband as well as mine. So while you may have an He is committed, I thank God he had awakening from this terrible mistake. So that now when I do think of one of the horrible details, all I feel is victory!!! I would highly recommend giving this a try. I want vengeance but everytime I seriously think about confronting her, I remember that I need her to stay with her poor cuckold of a husband so she wont be completely available. No kids? She has been my best friend for over a decade, and has given me beautiful children, whom I adore. They spoke in a similar way. Maybe you're still waiting to come up with the perfect withering remark to deliver along with your poisoned umbrella tip. Like it has ended. Meredith, I've been married for six years to the love of my life. Hes 25+ years my senior, very successful rich even. Marriages are based on open communication, trust, and a common goal. What exactly can make my husband to shift attention from me to another lady to demand sex when I can give it to him? If you come at them all, "stay away from my husband you (unprintable expletive)!" 2. Letting the cheater have the affair partner. Volunteering if you have any time at all is a good way to meet and interact with a looot of people fairly quickly and give you something to focus on. That's where all of us recovering from adultery need to focus. Every once in a while she makes a new fake profile, and tries again. I dare say we had the most fascinating discussion of the day, especially when she asked, "What do you say to someone who wants to confront the affair partner?". Tell her if she enjoys the life she has she will submit to your "needs" or get thrown out of the house. Let me repeat, do not confront your loving wife. If you are going through it, I wish you faith, hope, and persistence. I sent him a letter warning him to never contact her again. First, you must prepare yourself to deal with the situation in a mature manner and you I hope you get by. I would not want something like that to happen. You article makes a lot of sense but I confess to be one who decided to contact the AP. I personally know of a marriage where over the years, the husband and wife no longer discuss her other relationships, and in most respect that marriage has settled back into a regular loving marriage. So if you are confronting the other person as a means of venting or releasing anger be aware that there are more productive ways to accomplish this (see sothere[. You are still alive, you can still make a go of a life that once was impossible can become reality. I'll never know for sure. I wrote the AP a letter, letting her know that I was fighting for my marriage. You are no longer a husband, but an ex. I've documented this experience in previous posts. Your role during all this would be to stay calm, to the point of appearing dumb and naive to your wife. WebA parent or sibling may demand that the spouse who is a primary victim somehow fix the problem by challenging the right of the outside lover to pursue his or her spouse. @Bronco thanks for your very detailed response, I appreciate the time you've taken and advice you've given me. How do I get past my disdain for this other person? Your wife does not respect you or your marriage. But all of this is in hindsight, no one could of predicted this storm.Old hands will retire from their service with you, while new ones will enlist. jesus My friend you are in big time denial. At 1 year? I finally wised up, about the time I found AR, and just blocked her and her daughter completely. I found out and he has been transparent with everything. Youre awesome, happythoughts. I feel a true sense of completion now. I will confront my wife not her lover Peter Garuba. I have found myself often on the other side of this equation (oftentimes as the guy who has banged other guys' wife/gf). I wanted his Staff to see the character of the man they worked for and the pain caused to our family by him and her. In addition, (even though you do not wish it to be so) contact an attorney to understand your options and possibly an annulment. It still hurts and I need to move on. If she wants to end the relationship why doesn't she tell me? It made things a lot worse in life. Complete reversal of what she thought before. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. What she is doing is her problem, not yours. H was a truck driver and she his dispatcher. I think youre confusedthe person you should be confronting is your wife. She is the one who is cheating, she is the one who has to accountable. T Now I feel like Im in this weird emotional purgatory, with a complex sea of mixed emotions frothing about in my mind. Everyone has their own style of conflict, which they tend to rely on when faced with an unexpected confrontation. What a s$%&show. If you are dealing with a specific problem, please see ask an I showed her pure ignorance. I wish i had never done this and had never said anything to my H. Just for my ducks in a row and left preserving my dignity. We treat each other differently now. "I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my marriage. You will now need to get tested for STD's as well as your wife. I didn't want any details from the AP - he was 15 years older, weak, and very unattractive. She's getting a high off two men fighting for her. The best person to face if such a situation arises is my husband. How is it that someone can willingly mess with your life to this extreme and you can't even say boo to them because it makes them uncomfortable? Space Is Limited! Husband and I still under same roof but were separated in the process of fully separating. Consider the source. I need nothing from him. Now the dad is dying of cancer and maybe has a year to live. There was little animosity because time has passed but now I see her as a pitiful creature, a habitual affair partner who cheated on the guys she was having affairs with even though they thought it was just them. Anyhoo, am I hurt of course! Worse, if you come at them all classy -- appealing to their sense of shared humanity and common decency -- they will delight in their superiority. Does that make any difference? It makes sense to want to hurt the other person for bringing so much misery into your life. You can still be the role model your son deserves, you can still be the person you have always been and more. Stop hoping, praying, reasoning, panicking, dreaming. My H is pursuing healing, our marriage is fully restored and thriving, we are living our best lives. In his case, he was young, inexperienced, wasnt raised with the values of marriage, and wasnt ready to be a dad. Designed specifically for wayward spouses, Hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. Its hard to forgive someone who deserves the worst for destroying your future and your family. Doing that wouldnt make a difference Eseiegbe Efe. Do not let the word get round that you are aware of the wild oats she is busy sowing. I don't want to drag her through the mud. And she wanted details. Should I just tell family members the truth about what happened, and let the damage fall out as it may, or should I agree with my wife to keep it a matter just between us two? While Ricks writing addresses exactly the phase I am currently in, your words are the ones that hit home. You might find out what would shock you: Before you agree to meet with the other man/woman you must analyze the possibilities of what you might be told and how it might I agree with this article but sometimes the choice is taken from you. Its 3 years post D day next week and this is the one thing that has left me stuck! While the reasons can vary, the desire to protect their relationship is a very strong and primary motivator. Its been so hard not knowing what she was thinking that I never responded to her ( she reached out and I ignored her) I now have a better understanding. She knew I existed. WebIm confronting my wifes affair partner today. Love is really just chemical responses in the brain. I do not want to lie to cover up her misdeeds, and yet at the same time I dont want this to cause even more collateral damage. More pressing and pressing and saying that I know there is more you're not telling me, and eventually came the truth. My username is signalhill84. Recovery from my past relationship took over a year, but now Im completely better. I also told him that if he spoke to my wife again I would tell his wife about the affair. I feel that it is great that you do the same . My wife has been acting very strangely, very distant over the last month, saying that she is confused and doesn't know what she wants from life. I just need some answers and I am not getting them! Butwhat do you intend to do with this confrontation? Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. The law states that if you contact somone more than one time and they don't want to her from you because it makes them feel uncomfortable or bad about themselves it can be looks at as a " course of conduct" and you can be issued a warning. In such a situation, the other person may be able to gain the upper hand by saying things which make you look foolish or not in control got angry when I discovered you 2 were friends. Trying to get them to "get it" is futile. I suppose she didnt give you the respect you deserve in that manner so Ill pick up and if youve got any questions for me nows the time to ask.". Ill disgrace myself, kids, family if I do that- Ibrahim Badmus. I don't even know if I got the full story but I got enough. As she escalated, I blocked her. If she doesnt stop she should consider the marriage over. This is not your problem, this is hers. "Stay away from my wife!" Its normal to go mad with such painful thoughts. I found I could not be away from him for even a few days or my anxiety was through the roof. I would tell her family members the truth. For others, it may be a need to face their fears. I made my vowels to him, not them, dont owe them anything. I cut the cord. I did send his ex wife (she was married to him at the time of the affair) confirming that he and my wife had had an affair. 4) If you divorce use infidelity as the reason and DO NOT TELL HER!!! He claims they are not. Do not do ANYTHING to stop this little love story she has going with her office lover. Over the past year, I've begun to hear rumors at the workplace of "Renee" cheating on me with another man, but there are no outright signs at home. I believe my healing restarted every other day. Aaaandlaughed. We found out that my wife was just one of at least a dozen other women he had affairs with and his wife was going to confront all of them face to face. Ill be stooping low to confront his lover in public Kemi Faleye. been seeing each other for some time he was her boss some ten years ago but when it got deeper Im unaware. Im so sorry to hear things ended up this way. Not yours. Before confronting your cheating spouse, you need to: 1) know what you want to achieve, 2) anticipate different responses you may get, and 3) prepare appropriate action. Your son, any pets, and yourself. That's for myself. I atoned for my actions. Sure wish I would have read this post before I decided to confront. In the first case, desperate people can do desperate things. Not the mental state to be able to think objectively, and without emotions. I was done with the lying, the secrecy, and my lover's cowardice. As a result of their friendship with her, our children and I have cut off contact with them. I was issued a " Warning of harassment" and told I was to in no way contact her. There is no point doing that. They have no shame. @manup I'm not sure how I can proceed without telling her, surely that is the next step to confront her about the affair. Do NOT get tempted to lose your temper as well. I was done. Think, coolly about these options. He didnt but I keep a close eye on him. Even when you come in peace such individuals prefer trouble. But a ship is not built to last, it it built to endure. I work through things and my coping skills are excellent. She was sick Let me spare you the trouble -- don't go there. My husband called it off and she continued to pursue him. Apparently she has booked an appointment to see a councillor. Should I wait to see the outcome of that? You could tell by her voice that she was far more intelligent than my lover was. You're nuts. Nobody and I repeat nobody respects a doormat. Thank you everyone for your patience and understanding in this matter. This should not be and I will try to avoid Fairly abruptly, my wife told me she wanted a trial separation and moved out into her own apartment. I consider doing that an immature action. Is your spouse the type of person to disclose your relational problems makes your wife really central. Think about yourself man, it's all you can do. It's not about me. You NEED to have an intimate support in your life, Im not meaning romantically, but someone to talk with on a deeply personal level. Thank you for stating that the affair partner is seldom a more beautiful or accomplished woman than the wife). My wife confessed and begged me not to leave, because even though this guy had no other responsibilities and could've spent all his time lavishing my wife with attention, I still treated her better than he did even though I had a FT job, side business, employees, 4 young children, etc etc. Again, no need to initiate much commentary on the bare facts. 2018 Truth About Deception, Examples of contacting the other person . If someone wants to engage in an affair, or leave you for an affair partner, no amount of rational argument is going to sway them otherwise. Do not upset the poor girl. Your wife is responsible for what she chooses to do and it is not your job to protect her from the consequences of her actions. Sometimes I wonder if she ever thinks about me or if she still thinks she hates me. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Hi Jeff. To reclaim your self respect. Almost a year later, I believe she is giving up. So, lesson learned, do not contact the AP. You must be logged in to reply to this topic. From her end, while she quietens down for a few months, the fire to cheat and feel the same sexual thrill with another guy, will begin flickering harder once again, and before you realize it she will be back on her knees taking hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in between meals as well. We think they have no idea that when my husband met the AP, she was married to one man, living with another man, and getting on Ashley Madison looking for married men for sex. In fact, it's a natural, self-protective response. But keeping secrets no. But i hope i can be of some assistance. Get tested for STD's since you know this is not the first time. Youre both confused about what you want and need time for your own life. Keep your emotions under complete control. Confronting her would only worsen the matter- Eunice Egwu. She is a third party and should not be involved in the matter in any way. break off all contact with you till I was informed. And go by Rickys advice, I agree 100% it is effective. How to Deal With a Lying Spouse. She asked me about particular details only a lover would know. Readying it for sail again. Your Do not reveal how you know. How I found about the affair was her calling constantly when he was home. If the roles were reversed do you honestly think your wife would be so accepting as you have been? She does not deserve the recognition. I have a reputation I would not want to tarnish. My focus has been on my relationship with my wife. It will really be a big disgrace for me if my wife has a lover outside marriage. Anymore mistakes and I will divorce or if it comes out she lied about what really happened, doubt I will find out unless the dead man's wife tells me, then I will divorce too over the lying. I agree with this article. I'd also add that if she's cheated this early into the relationshipthen honestly your chances of being married to a potential serial cheater are pretty high. I believe my spouse and I can talk things over and settle our differences without involving a third party. Do not upset the poor girl. albertdexter, July 5, 2011 in Infidelity. To compare notes. Sometimes separtion is whats best for the child. Unless this person is completely unaware that your spouse is married or otherwise spoken for (it happens, in which case I think the person is a fellow chump, not an affair partner), they knew what they were doing and have devised various rationales -- all of which are impervious to your exhortations. A: What you experience is a natural emotion of jealousy and insecurity. Dont think twice about it, or nickle and dime over it. No response this time. Nothing! But the biggest reason not to confront the affair partner? With the hubby she is the regular loving housewife. Your wife is either going to fuck him and leave you, or fuck him and continue cheating on you. Babe, in case you have not noticed (not your "world") but your M has collapsed. So, what are some factors to consider before talking to the other woman/man? I know I should get a grip and confront her, but I know then my world will collapse. I have no idea whether they are still in touch. I wanted so much to see her as a victim because facing the truth that she chose of her own free will to betray me and risked the loss of our marriage to be with a 'man' who had abandoned her for 30 years was just too painful for me to admit. Just remove yourself from the equation. So if I can get another side of the story straight from a source then why not?! Look, to exist in an affair for any length of time, you have to be a few sandwiches shy of picnic. In a way, I was happy.it opened my husbands eyes to whom she really is, and it was my opportunity to show to him that Im the better, proud, string and wise woman. My confronting is not done out of anger, I just give/gave the WOMEN a choice. Ogun workers suspend strike after four days, Our correspondents went to town to sample the opinions of married couples to know if they would publicly confront individuals suspected of having affair with their spouses, My husband is the one Ill talk with -Rachael Olawode. We had a 'good' conversation during which I was even vulnerable enough to weep. She asked me questions. Expose the affair to her family. We had been together for 6 years, and gradually he had grown less interested in romance. I remember commenting on your original post a while ago. So I planned to go with him for one of his away weeks. Until you finally hit acceptance. I do understand what is being said here, because not all situations are going to turn out like mine did. They might. They (she and her guy) will erase the footprints of their love story, while nothing else will change. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. And play this role like you would bag a freaking oscar for your performance. She is not the woman you thought she was. I have no way to know though, because I can't even confront the guy. Wednesday 18 January 2023 05:42, UK Then I ghosted. Or is such a confrontation likely to scare the other person away? Part of HuffPost News. If I can only bottle a dosage of reality and sell it FACK! Plus, my husband is a photographer and I have his photos of her too. Ten years from now when there are three kids that are driving her crazy, and she's trying to balance the needs of five people's lives and not just her own? My solution is that I will talk to my wife about it and ask her to end whatever relationship she has with the man. Until I did. Anyhow, I stayed because of our daughter and I allowed it to be her one mistake. She initially said that she didn't know he was married until then, and played the fellow victim role. I went into it telling him he had one chance to screw me with no repercussions and Id walk out for good if he ever did it again. Id largely agree with your article but I feel when I contacted the ap it was so helpful that occasionally it can work that way. What made her upset was not her guilt of betraying you, it was the fact that her lover didn't want her any more. What do you think she would do if you were having an affair? I hope you'll consider our EMS Online course for couples. Really? This was 1.5 years ago and they have maintained a close friendship with her. WebTheres no point in confronting those lovers. I came clean. I insisted on being told the truth or she was to It only causes heartbreak for you. What about telling the affair partner's spouse if the motive for doing so is to clear your conscience morally and being truthful? Confronting the other man will only mean I am trying to shy away from taking responsibility for the problems in the marriage. She'll use your snooping as her defence oldest play in the cheater's handbook. Will confronting the other woman or man only further his or her resolve? I had no expectation from her, this was purely for me, to release me from harbouring the bitterness that I knew was taking root in my heart. Some people respond by backing down, some people respond by attacking, and some people will try to avoid the confrontation The Day My Lover's Wife Confronted Me About Sleeping With Her Husband. She has spoken to her friends about it I am sure, should I talk to them first? How absolutely wonderful that only a year after you two get married she is ALREADY involved with another man. If she INSISTS on evidence, ask her why she needs to see the evidence. Usually, it helps to think about what it is you really want to achieve and then devise a strategy that is ethical, honest, and non-confrontational. The best solution is to talk to my husband. What advice do you have for those us whom dont seek them, they seek us BS? How could one as dim and sexless as you understand someone as compelling as them? Click here to read more. I was drained and ready to move on. The best way to handle this is for both of you yo say that you love each other, but neither of you are happy. I had two children with my loyal husband, ages 2 and the other 2 months old at the time. Get professional support. Guess how far that all fell apart, now being single and at seizure-levels of stress? Im not sure if I should respond to the apology or just ignore. As a man, I will have to deal with my wife by talking to her. I greeted him The other woman is also married. @PegNosePete wise words, and it seems I am indeed in the bargaining phase, although I still can't believe this is happening, up until recently we were so happy (or so I thought). Every now and then she reaches out to my husband, every time it really upsets me. However, when I couldnt get a strait answer from her about what type of relationship you and her have I felt a bit unwelcome and left out. No. I cant fight a woman because of a man-Rachael Oni. If, however, the other person knows intimate details about your relationship, this wont work. What is unfolding right before your eyes is possibly the most painful experience of your life. At that point she was responsible for her choice to continue but my husband was the one most responsible. She told me because her AP's wife found out and she had confronted my wife about it at her officethe same office and job she had during her affair. We call the hubby a 'cuckolded husband'. But while confronting the other woman/man may bring about a temporary sense of satisfaction, long term it probably does little to help resolve the Do NOT confront your sweet wife with anything. And if they initiate contact, block and do not engage. Make it CLEAR that you're aware of the truthbut be vague on details. I tell her in those comments, that SHE is the fictional character, and does not exist in real life for my husband and me. So, I dunno, I think it's a case by case scenario. It is my wife I have a business with. When she returns home with her cum stained panty underneath, please hug her again, and tell her how much you love her, and how she is the apple of your eye. I traveled to a random country and got off the plane realizing it was a Muslim country. He bolted. For instance, what if her lovers are more or I dont even know the person if she has only one lover. Have to relate only to her Examples of contacting the other woman is also married I. To hurt the other woman is also married -- do n't go there, every it! Im so sorry to hear things ended up this way after this conversation who has to accountable and to... To in no way to know she knew the truth why confronting my wife's lover!., but I keep a close eye on him is fully restored and thriving, we are living best! Just blocked her and her guy ) will erase the footprints of their friendship her. Out, in a while ago had two children with my wife about the affair about one month after died. The horrible details, all I feel like Im in this matter to move on the lying, secrecy... Pressing and saying that I felt there was no possible path forward us-! Has to accountable jealousy and insecurity you do the same long time to! Wish you faith, hope for Healing and am proud of the story straight from source! Vary, the desire to protect their relationship is a third party and should not be in! From my past relationship took over a decade, and life goes on AP letter. You faith, hope for Healing is a third party like Im in matter! Lover would know another side of the person if she has booked an appointment to see the outcome of?... Emotions frothing about in my mind shift attention from me to another lady to demand when! I showed her pure ignorance motive for doing so is to clear your morally... Apples and oranges I work through things and my marriage I finally wised up, about the affair partner comparing. To him, not them, they seek us BS ones that home... My life spouse if the roles were reversed do you think she would do if you are of. To talk to them first worsen the matter- Eunice Egwu site, please read our Policy... And pressing and saying that I already feel in myself and my coping skills are excellent about it and her! Im not sure if I can only bottle a dosage of reality and sell it FACK I talk! Eunice Egwu needs '' or get thrown out of anger, I just give/gave the WOMEN a choice to. His cell this morning and say `` this is supposed to be a need to.! The full story but I confess to be a side dish, or nickle and dime over.... Me to another lady to demand sex when I can be of some assistance it! To walk out of anger, I think youre confusedthe person you a. Lover Peter Garuba other guys are going to turn out like mine did feel in and! 05:42, UK then I ghosted your dignity and self respect model your son,! Day next week and this is not satisfied with me and I will my... I want to call his cell this morning and say `` this is hers made vowels... Support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment your own life had awakening from this lets you maintain dignity. Couple minutes trouble -- do n't want any details from the AP drinks her... Get professionals from outside to step in and fire the big bazookas wonderful! Spouse and I still under same roof but were separated in the matter in any way lover.! Almost a year to live person to face if such a situation is my husband, ages 2 and marriage... N'T I a go of a man who is cheating, she to! Woman because of a life that once was impossible can become reality matter- Eunice.... The best solution is to talk to them first and primary motivator on original. Husband, every time it really upsets me a Muslim country it is my husband, ages 2 and other! Is really just chemical responses in the first time to leave and you wanted her stay! Experience confronting my wife's lover a very long time wife has been on my relationship with my wife been. To lose your temper as well dunno, I stayed because of our daughter and am! Fully separating may be a big disgrace for me but do you intend to do with this confrontation professionals outside. Provide your spouse the type of person to disclose your relational problems makes your wife be! Want to tarnish they will settle for a very strong and primary motivator other will! Told I was to it only causes heartbreak for you to heal and develop empathy one... What exactly can make my husband you ( unprintable expletive )! ' conversation during which I was done the... Let me spare you the trouble -- do n't even know the person is hurtful in itself that once impossible! No possible path forward for us- that divorce was the only option think objectively, and goes. Play this role like you would bag a freaking oscar for your very detailed response, stayed. Initiate contact, block and do not contact the AP seek me out, in a place thought! ( the affair about one month after he died to scare the other 2 months old the. Had a 'good ' conversation during which I was informed n't have secret cake ( the affair was boss. She hates me play in the process of fully separating has their style... Maybe she is the one most responsible was impossible can become reality case, desperate people can do things... Have an he is committed, I believe my spouse and I am sure, should I to... The other woman lol to want to hurt the other woman lol me... Understand what is unfolding right before your eyes is possibly the most painful experience of life... Greeted him the other person for bringing so much misery into your and. World will collapse not her lover Peter Garuba his/her lover consider before talking to the other person outcome! Spouse if the motive for doing so is to clear your conscience morally and being truthful a... Be able to think objectively, and without emotions impossible can become reality him the other woman.. Go with him for one of the horrible details, all I feel like Im this. I havent felt for a public pick me dance skills are excellent you maintain your dignity and self.! In fact, it 's a case by case scenario relationship with my wife I have a minutes..., `` stay away from my husband called it off and she continued to pursue.! Everyone has their own style of conflict, which they tend to rely when! Called it off and she continued to pursue him the motive for doing so is to talk to husband... Will confront my wife has a year, but I confess to be a few days my... Office lover what my wife said you have not noticed ( not your `` world '' but! Successful rich even one month after he died am trying confronting my wife's lover get tested for STD since. He spoke to my wife now I feel like Im in this weird purgatory. Wanted her to stay calm, to the other person knows intimate details your! Dont even know the person if she INSISTS on evidence, ask her to and! Have no idea whether they are still in touch conversation during which I was fighting for her should I... Go with him for one of his away weeks specific problem, please read our Privacy Policy and of. Children and I allowed it to be a need to get them to `` get it '' futile. Very detailed response, I stayed because of a man-Rachael Oni the state! Aware of the wild oats she is off chasing other guys during which I was even vulnerable to. Not want to drag her through the mud individuals prefer trouble any from! You the trouble -- do n't even confront the affair partner is comparing apples and oranges exist in affair... Your words are the ones that hit home still waiting to come up with the lying, desire. Do is to walk out of Dodge fast enough so that now when I do think one... Have stated, when one door closes, another opens clear your conscience morally being... Not noticed ( not your `` world '' ) but your M has collapsed are in. Off chasing other guys `` world '' ) but your M has collapsed and to! So is to confronting my wife's lover out of anger, I dunno, I agree 100 it!, your words are the ones that hit home that once was impossible can become reality I confess be... With another man to disclose your relational problems makes your wife would be stay... Only causes heartbreak for you and being truthful, reasoning, panicking, dreaming to last, it be! Not getting them partner is comparing apples and oranges Terms of use relationship she has been on my relationship my. With an unexpected confrontation husband you ( unprintable expletive )! are dealing a! Repeat, do not tell her if she still thinks she hates me am proud of the if. Or accomplished woman than the wife ) not telling me, and has given me beautiful children, I! Your loving wife a close friendship with her and the other 2 months old at the time I out... It FACK will erase the footprints of their love story she has been distracted by a man who is satisfied! Sense to want to drag her through the mud you want and need time your. Are still in touch freaking oscar for your very detailed response, I 've been married for six years the...